Thursday, September 23, 2004
try ta pack my daes up so i wun hv time ta think abt matters which i dnt wna ponder abt. m i at fault if ive a phobia of trusting pple? m i at fault tt whn new relationships b it w fwens or wateva bcums stronger n we're getting closer..i will tk a step back?? i gave all my love n evthg in me into these bonds. but aft half my life w these pple..they decide ta betray. ta hurt u. so do ive the right reason ta hold back..ta not trust pple anymore? they were the ones i loved n appreciated the most. at e end of e day, it means nthg ta them apparently. evry effort put in was counted as nthg. appears tt they dnt give a damn n nv bothered. left me w nthg but broken heart n pain tt wun go awae no matter how many yrs hv passed n no matter how i try ta move on. sherry dearie toked ta me last nite. she's e only one who's dere constantly ta assure tt im fine. i rli appreciate it darl. *muahh* she's my pillar of strength. alws so calm n comforts me no matter how busy she is. thks dear. nobody kws how rottened im feelg all these yrs but at least i think u come close.
sighhh...u dnt know how confused n rotten im feelg n u kip piling up my worries n adding weight ta my burden..suezzie kips tellg me abt u. i cant even help myself. i cant even tkcr of myself. i dnt hv e rite ta care abt u. jst give me a break. plssss.......*groans* i dnt even know where's the real me. whn i laugh...deep dwn im not as happiee as i show it. as aveline dear said we've gotta kip a brave front or pple will tk advantage n hurt us deeper. where is the world heading to?? wats gg on w our lives? nthg seems ta b real. nthg seems ta work. sheesssshhhh...i wna move on. but wats holdg me baq? til this v dae..im still holdg on ta the slightest hope tt we will b wat we're used ta b agn. i know its impossible. it'll nv b the same anymore. but u know me. i treasure u tts y im still holdg on. nv give up e slightest hope. it tks two hands ta clap. think im clapping into e air. god help me forget this!! *groans* junz..as u said..crumpling in fatigue!!! now i understand.
yay!!!! *cheers* chip n kim wonnnnnnnnnn!!!!!! hate colin n christy..but all of them are winners. to reach e last rnd..uve got ta fight all e way. luck plays a part but at e end of e day. co operation n trust r impt. nv give up. nthg is impossible. gd n nice pple will triumph in e end. nv quit. role models..they all are.
~~Trust no-one~~
"You learn out of experience to choose your friends carefully.
Just when you think someone's not such a bad guy,
I guarantee you they'll ask you for something.
I'll meet 100 people in the next two weeks
and 99 per cent of them will ask me for something.
You try to get to know people
and even give them the benefit of the doubt
but you can guarantee they'll stitch you up."
--KeaNo **man utd captain*
sighhhh...even he says these kinda thgs..can we rli trust pple ard us??
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I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
its been a long time since i've updated my blog. been rli occupied by alot of thgs lately. sch, cca, and personal probs. but the past weekend was GREAT!! *cheers* aft YEN meeting on sat, went over ta Jas's pl ta chill n sherry's pl ta stayover discussing abt flyers thgy. came up w a few ideas..hope the rest will lyk it. played majong at jas's pl in e noon n wanted ta sing karaoke too but jas didnt know wat went wrg w her system so in e end we jst played uno stacko. hahs poor mandy lost n gotta drink one whole bowl of water. but fish loves ta drink water rite? *wink wink* vivian n mandy left aft awhile, leaving jas, avelinedear, jennifer, calvin n me behind. sherry went fer a haircut n joined us fer dinner. jas's dog is sooo adorable. now i realise how lazy my dog is. hahs. love Jewel!! is tt her name, jas??
went ta sherry's pl fer dinner n stayover. her pl is v near ta jas's. by car its v near hahs but by foot i swear i'll lose my way. its so hard ta find sherry's pl. ordered pizza fer dinner n sherry swts bot chicken frm carrefour fer us. her hse is so cosy..all her furniture fer our butts r so comfy..tt u wun wna stand up once u sit on them. dinner was funnnn..hahs poor jennifer became the butt of our jokes. tt ger was so nice, she didnt flare up or anthg thou we kept laughing at her. but she was rli slow in reacting..n she cant do more than one task at a time..so she became our source of entertainment. hahs..played a game n e loser'll eat a piece of chicken so as ta help finish up e leftovers. jennifer n calvin ate e most. aft dinner, we washed up n did our flyers fer Fatabulous. ard 3am..evryone was shagged. jennifer, avelinedear n jasmine went ta dreamland. sherry, me and calvin jst sat dwn n tok abt life n stuffs. shared w them my painful past n glad ta hear watever they've ta say. appreciate it ya sherry n cal. thks fer evthg. u guys jst mks me smile even whn e sun is not shining on me. esp tt LAME calvinnnn..gosh! im stuck w him on fri evenings whn fatab starts..but enjoy everyone's company. we're one big happiee family. :)
left on sun aftnoon. had a grt brunch which ws cooked by sherry's mom. yummy!!!! overall i think it was a grt time spent w this family..we gotta know each other better n strengthened the bond btw us. i think if one wna set up a business w anyone be it fwens or wat..e most basic thg is ta establish trust n fwenship of tt person. i think we're doing tt now. went out ta bugis too on fri ta check out gds n prices. so tts lyk 3 consecutive days spent tog w e committee so there is the bond dere. love this grp. thks fer evthg guys!! Jeremy, Adrian, Qorrine..better join our family's activity nxt time okie!!!
to aveline darr* rli glad tt we spent these 3days tog. rli gotta know u much better n rli appreciate the real u n this special bond btw us. love you foreva dear!! *muaxx* alws here fer u..
aft sherry's pl went ta meet charms n jings. miss tt two gers. *hugss* thou i was totally shagged aft not slpg enuf fer 3 straight days, they nv fail ta mk me laugh. hahs dearies thks fer ur grt company. study hard yupz. came hm and fainted on my bed. sheesshh..i was rli rli damn blardie drained..but awhile ltr suezzie called n told me abt *u*..i wasnt in e mood ta hear wateva happened. call me heartless or wateva..but i was rli too tired ta b involved in ur probs. sorrie. im busy w my own too..i've probs too..cant even solve mine how can i solve urs? i do care n love u but sigh mayb not to e extent tt i can give u my all. ur fwens will b dere i know..so im not tt worried. thks suezzie swts fer taking care of "this person" fer me.
*cheers* finally completed all e thgs ive ta do fer Fatab. the minutes n poster. now i can go wtch my match w no worries..its Man Utd vs Liverpool!! thou im dead tired but this is a die die muz wtch match. *praying hard man u will win* all man u fans unite!!!
poor justin babyy was hospitalized fer gastric infection. he has been vomitting since 2weeks ago. no medicine seems ta help. so no choice gotta send him ta kk hos. my poor darling's so skinny now..nthg seems ta excite him anymore. miss his smiles n noises he mks whn he's well. gotta luk aft him while my aunt n cousin r not free. justin's mom is dwn w cancer. sigh..hope god can smile on this family. i rli love them all. bless little justin darling w gd health. bless his mom w strength ta battle w her illness so she can luk after her two darling sons. i can help but dere's only so much i can do. love justin babyyy...
last thg: aveline sweetheart helped me put up a tagboard. hahs rem im a com idiot. thks swts!! *muaxx* so fwens..u can tag now!!!! :) nites ta e world.
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I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
had soci test todae n it ok. as Berni said " if u study then u won't fail." but i doubt i'll pass hahs cos i nv rli study. e past week jst flew by..it was supposed ta b a studyg week but i didnt do any until ydae fer soci test todae. gosh! wat am i so occupied w?? evrydae jst flew by n at e end of e dae i feel so tired..so drained thou i dntkw wat hv i done e whole dae..time rli flies. e world turning so fast n i find it hard to catch up. pple r changing evrydae fer dntkw wat reasons n i find it hard ta understand. why r pple so superficial! why can they jst throw fwens aside n cant b bothered abt them anymore aft being gd fwens fer e past yrs?? its so hurtg ta know tt no matter how much efforts u put into this fwenship, they'll nv appreciate it n tk u fer granted. *sigh* rli who're my true fwens n who aren't?? now i dnt rli know. wats fwenships? as astee said "where's is the love?"
jaq said " since those pple dnt appreciate u, let others hv e chance ta appreciate u. pple lyk me.." tt was sweet. thks jaq dearie..i feel i can relate ta u too. thks a mil sweets!!! *hugs* i'll b here fer u too! hold on tight!! hahs..seeing u tmr fer maths..duh!!!i hate maths lect!!! not e pple but e lecturer..sheesh!! he suck!
had a light lunch w karen, xuex, berni n jennifer at megabites aft soci lect. we shared evthg..hahs n jennifer as usual finished up evthg. hahs tt ger ah damn blur n greedy..w her ard..i feel so at ease n i know tts e real her. on e way hm we toked qte alot n im glad ta know tt ger much better. xuex n berni r damn crappy..put them tog n u'll wish ta jst die immediately than ta listen ta their lame conversation. they said tt nxt lect i shall sit in btw them..i think i'll jst die. urghsss..last wk sat btw karen n jennifer,i almost died alr. cant imagine..but they're rli lyk "wat u c is wat u get" kinda fwens. glad i met them. gers thks fer evthg!! luvya!!
met yunxie dearie on the bus. i missssssssss that ger!!! *hugss* whn i saw her i was lyk "MEIYUNNNNN!!" hahs e whole bus knew her name!! hahs..but i was sooooo happieeee ta c her...aft so long!! dearie i hope uve been fine. i love you ta bits!! i treasure this fwenship. thou we seldom mt up..ur alws in my heart n mind. *huggsss* see u soon!!
gg dwn ta RENOSIS tmr ta luk at e gds supplied fer our Fatab..heard e products they've arent tt FATABULOUS..hahs..but i love ta hang out w the committee. they're rli fun n nice..nv fail ta mk me laugh. aveline will b dere..its been some time since i last saw her. miss her!!! hope tmr will be fun!!!
**someone tell me how ta kip fwenships n wat is fwenships? why do my so called fwens lyk inflictg nthg but pain on me?** its been a long time since i rli laugh out loud n truly happieee deep dwn inside..wats happening?+++++
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I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;
Friday, September 10, 2004
**do i rli love my life?**
nthg much todae..was supposed ta meet up w sharon dearie in twn fer a movie but once e lift door opened..my hp rang. a sweet voice said "jen where r u? dnt think i can mt u alr..my mom's sick.." dntkw y but b4 tt i kinda hv this feelg tt we wunb able ta mt up cos of certain reason.izzit psychic or wat? dnt ask me. i guess so. but i didnt feel pissed or athg..i guess in order to b fwens or rather besties uve got ta b understandg n trust each other. as i grow up i finally know how ta give n tk..forgive n forget. but sumxs its rli hard ta do it. frm tt incident..i learnt ta care n love all my fwens b it close or jst hi-bye fwens..once they're my fwens i hope they'll b happy. i dnt wna them ta get hurt, to feel e pain..cos i felt tt b4 n it hurted n is still hurtg. she taught me how ta b a true n real fwen ta pple ard me..i dnt wish ta b lyk her..thks ta her..i think im treatg all my fwens well enuf. of course only ta those whom i feel tts worth caring n loving. i try ta mk them feel tt im a real fwen who'll alws b dere weneva they nid me. i alws mk e effort of meetg up cos i feel its impt not ta drift apart..fwenships r e most impt in life. even aft marriages n evthg..it'll still b fwens who wld b dere whn u nid a shoulder ta cry on aft quarrels w hubbies..fwens who will luk fer whn u nid a babysitter urgently..n stuff lyk tt. so i love all my fwens. my darling angel fwens!! every single one of u matter ta me. im serious. i'll alws hold u angels in my heart. *promise*
went ta catch "The Terminal" at Suntec w charmxx...hahs thks ger fer not hesitatg ta say "yes" whn i suddenly called up ta ask u out.love tt charmxx so much!!! thks ger fer evthg..w/o u dere wun b me.ur my pillar n strength..whn my best fwens r not here u'll nv fail ta b rite beside me..thks dearie. ur alws dere ta blow awae e darkest clouds ta let me b able ta c e rainbow agn. ur my counsellor whn im blue n crushed w probs aft probs..thou im older than u..ur so much wiser..i feel so ashamed!! hahs..but im glad ive found u swts!! ur so impt ta me.loveubabe!
e show was okie..2whole hrs..it was draggy. charmxx said Tom Hanks movies r alws lyk tt. she was complaining tt we shld hv caught Raising Helen instead. but sorrie ger i promised sharon darrie tt we'll wtch it tog! :) go wtch it w ur "lover" ehs..hahs. meeting sha bestie tmr late aftnoon b4 e music awards..miss her ta bits!!
this week's supposed ta b a studyg wk but sigh..ive not touched my notes at all n deres a soci test tis cumg tues..sheesh m i in deep shit or wat?? im so blardie lost in soci..dntknow wat e hell is gg on!! wateva..jst hope i can overcome this yr..sigh..im not interested in studyg!!*growLL*
yay!!!! tt Haizal guy's gg baq fer e wildcard spore idol episode..i knew they'll give him another chance..he's so cute!!! loved him since he was in CLEO's 50 most eligible bachelor..hope he can mk it! sigh life's boring...wat m i doing on this boring darn place?!! m i rli happiee?? nites ta e world..
++I can no longer tell when I am dreaming
or living in my so called reality.
When I bring myself to shut my eyes,
all I run into is an encounter with you.
An encounter I never want to let go of.
When I awake,
reality rushes over me.
You are not lying beside me as you were in my dream.
I can no longer hear your voice as you whisper to me in the dark.
I pray that we will be together as we are in my dream,
so I can close my eyes,
and when I awake you will still be there.
I will continue to live in my dreams until the day we are together.
I love you.++
sorrie to *u*..i know im hurtg u but do ive a choice? stop trying..nthg will wk. back off will u? free us both.. im sorrie..im not worthy ur undying love..never will. i guess. so wat if i do love u? its all over aint it?
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I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
*urghs..damn slpy but cant slp*
wats wrg w me??i'm feelg so drained n all but i jst cant seem ta fall aslp. *groanss* slept at 5pm yet i woke up at lyk 9? n aft tt i jst cant slp anymore! gosh im pissed w myself!!
well yday was kinda a fun day but i felt damn drained aft tt. had soci lect in e aftnoon den Fatab meetg aft tt. e meetg was kinda fun cos we get ta decide who we wanted as e chairman of e project. Jeremy got it n hopefully he can do a grt job n mk Fatab a grt success! Jst cant wait fer it ta start..*cheers* Sherry darrie was nominated but she said she didnt wan cos she was afraid tt she cant manage well w her busy n heavy wkload in RMIT. so i didnt vote fer her..i voted fer JASMINE..opps is voting a secret or sthg? hahs..wateva..she's one of my new fwens of e day hahs..n i tell u this ger is woah..sound lyk n act lyk a leader..but think evryone wanted a guy ta b a chairman so..but nvm as WK said evryone'll hv a chance ta be leader in this project..
we chose which committee we wna b in..hahs im in two committees..finance n admin. Sherli was lyk "jenevie said she wans ta b in finance dep" n evryone jst stared at me simultaneosly hahs..gosh..i was lyk "okie"..WK laughed"woah quan bu ren kan zhe ni.." hahs pressure=submission. i was being a nice ger by joining e admin dep too cos i saw my poor mandy swts alone in admin..she nids help so i volunteered..hahs mandyyy u owe me one! hahs but im rli lukg forward in planning shifts schedules w her..she's mad n crazy..hahs me too..so jst imagine whn u put us both tog. *laughs* ger..we muz wk well tog n most imptly hv FUN!! thks sherry dear fer offering her help if i nid in finance dep..cos apparently dere'll b loadsa accountg to do n i hvnt learn any accountg skills yet..thou my dad n sis hv been accountant all their lives.
aveline dear is in sales n mktg while sean was chosen ta be in admin..hahs cant imagine him in admin doing paperwk n stuffs..but jeremy n cal said tt jst let him try.moreover his second choice was admin.hahs but i think in e end only mandy n me will do e paperwk n all..admin is jst not fer this general sean! but who knows.. :) i let vivian ta b i/c of finance dep..actually it was me i guess but since im nice n swt hahs i'll let her b..anw we said we'll tk turns..since finance is sucha small dep(only vivian n me) we're both i/c alr la..ive got an admin dep ta handle too..i love this Fatab committee..evryone's damn enthu n nice fun pple..im lucky tt my gd fwens r in it w me too den we can brg our fwenships ta a greater heights.
anw..knew a new fwen ydae thru xuex..bernadette murdoch..did i spell it correctly? hahs doesnt it sound lyk a "RICH" name?? hahs cool name..she's qte pretty n swt. karen n fernijen had a quarrel ydae..hope u gers r fine now..u nid conflicts ta strengthen fwenships..a foreva smoothsailg fwenship is not necessarily a gd thg. its thru these conflicts tt we get ta know each others more..u'll realise tt aft evry conflict fwens bcum closer than b4.
aft meetg rushed dwn ta meet ah haos fer movie in twn.Harold n Kumar..i think its a damn crappy show..its a guys' type of movie cos of e dirty jokes n nude scenes of gers..but e moral of e story is tt if uve a goal u muz pursue n achieve it no matter how tough it is. during tt process u mite encounter several setbacks n pple who tried ta destroy or stop u frm pursuing ur dreams..but u cannot surrender n said "this dream is impossible" u muz go on no matter wat. one day u'll mk it. so fwens..follow ur dreams n nv give up. dreams do cum true thou fairytales dnt. ohhh...caught Cinderella Story on mon..it was so swt!! but i guess its only worth $6.50..but it was swt.
went fer dinner at York hotel w my family..we had a grt time..grt food..sumxs i feel rli rli blessed n loved by my family.thk god fer smiling on me**
**loving all my sweet lil angels out dere**
++I prayed for a red bike,
God gave me blue.
I lost my old cap,
He gave me new.
I asked for a friend who will always be true.
I prayed and prayed, till came you.++
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I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;
Monday, September 06, 2004
*diNneR wAs gReaT w my 3aNgeLs*
its a rli cooling dae todae. love cooling weather. it mks me feel lighthearted n naturally happy. had late lunch w my parents at jurong..yes JURONG!!! i live in EUNOS!! hahs its rite at e other end of spore!! my dad said he wanted to go try e wanton noodles dere which was recommended by channel u sum time ago. hahs but god didnt smile on him cos..whn we got dere..it was closed alr!! dad was damn disappointed..i mean we drove all e way dere to c it closed..DUH!! hahs i was wndrg..dad alws complains tt his petrol runs out lyk damn fast..one wk at least 120bucks on petrol..gosh!! now i know y..he can drive all e way to JURONG fer a plate on $2 wanton noodles!! hahs but think gd food's e only fun thg in his life. but we alws luk ard spore fer gd food..so fwens whn u wna recommendations jst ask this bossie here ya? :)
aft lunch,gotta rush baq hm ta bathe n get ready to meet jaq,astee n yings dearie fer steamboat at suntec. wanted ta go dere since dntkw whn..hahs think great minds rli think alike cos jaq wanted ta go dere too..hahs*winkwink*we had a grt time catchg up w each other..enjoyg food..(dessert was heavenly) took a couple of fotos..den took bus baq w jaq.told her wat happened 2 n 1/2 yrs ago.thks dear..thou it was hard to mention wat happened..u made it easy..i din feel lyk crying or anthg..thks swts fer being dere.guess it'll hurt till e day i die..but u said"these thgs happen in life n we've gotta learn frm it n be a stronger person." i will.dnt wory..im tryg ta get out of this phase..tryg v hard.i know my darling fwens will help me..i wna free myself frm these heartaches n pain too. i will be strong. loveu jaq dear..*muaxx*
dearie yunx msged me todae n i realised i miss tt silly darr so much!! its been ages since i last saw her..think it was on junz bdae..met her at lido..loveu dearie yunxie!!*hugss*
yings sweetie thks fer e lovely PINK pencil case i love it!!!i'll use it immediately!! hahs..thks darling fer remembering me thou we r lyk miles apart. love you bestie!! *muaxx*
yings toked abt her todae agn..y hv u become lyk so diff?as thou u changed so much..ur not so irresponsible last time..wat made u change??i dnt know..guess i'll nv know cos dnt think we'll eva toked agn..as in not superficially but in dept. im so disappointed..ur still so self centered..so insensitive..whn can u change?*sigh*did he change u ta b lyk tt? hope i'll nv get ta c u agn..
to janice dear: be postive..life is alws beautiful jst how u luk at it. dnt kip thinkg tt u hate sch..or else u'll detest it more.try to lyk it..open up n befriend more pple..widen ur social circle in sch..b more active?life'll b more fun..i know sumxs u'll feel rli alone..lyk fwenless. i feel it sumxs too..but pple appear n mk me smile.these r den e beautiful moments in life. deres alws me ard..u'll nv b alone. try ta smile more. loveu
hahs went ta peep at my sis hp n read a few msgs abt joh ryan..e gorgeous ang moh..hahs they're gg to meet up fer dinner or sthg..GREAT!!!how wndrful it'll b if he's my BRO-IN-LAW!!! *wide grin*
gg ta study alil tmr n meetg auntie at J8 to buy tix to sat's music awards. im gg fer AMERICAN IDOL concert too!!! my sis wna go so she's treatg me!! :) sumxs im rli glad tt ive sucha sis..earning money n stuffs!!i'll get e benefits!! hahs
*tHaNk gOd i fOuNd yOu*
I would give up everything
Before I'd separate myself from you
After so much suffering
I finally found unvarnished truth
I was all by myself
For the longest time
So cold inside
And the hurt from the heartache
Would not subside
I felt like dying
Until you saved my life
*Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My baby I'm so thankful
I found you*
I will give you everything
There's nothing in this world
I wouldn't do
To insure your happiness
I cherish every part of you
Cause without you beside me
I can't survive
Don't want to try
If you're keeping me warm
Each and every night I'll be alright
Because I need you in my life
*Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My baby I'm so thankfulI found you*
See I was so desolate
Before you came to me
Looking back I guess
Destined to shine
After I'd go through it all over again
To be able to feel this way
*Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My baby I'm so thankful
I found you* +to all my angel darling fwens who matter to me n whom i love deep dwn my heart. i thk god ive found u n promise i'll nv let our fwenship sink. i love all of you frm e bottom of my heart..thks fer being who u r n being my sunshine in my life,guiding me thru evry mile n nv give up. thks fer putting a smile on my face whn im experiencing a storm..i rli treasure u n will alws be dere too ta b ur pillar in life.alws dere standg strong n to support u thru life.+
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I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;
Friday, September 03, 2004
had ibm todae n it went fine.den had to trouble sherry dear to show me e way to her locker..had too many thgs to carry. one thick txtbk n stack of notes. meeting auntie so cldnt possibly brg evthg w me. thanks a mil sherry!!! loveu!!*muax* went ta Forum ta meet auntie ong fer lunch at Genki..it was grt. e food was as usual gd. den auntie treated me dessert. hahs as usual she bullied me..dnt lyk e ice cream outer coating..asked me to finished it up n she'll eat e ice cream..wat can i say?? hahs im used to it. sumxs i wndr how come im so nice n sweet hahs! *winkwink* aft tt she went ta buy a bottom frm URBAN KIDS!!! gosh!! im lyk "cant believe u still can buy clothes frm a KIDS shop?!!" got a gd bargain i shld say..a pretty skirt cum shorts w many many hearts on it..v sweet v pretty..hahs but still hard to swallow e fact tt she bot clothes frm a KIDS shop!! :) got two new bottles of EDT frm bodyshop. v nice..ur supposed to spray both tog den u'll get an unique fragrance. glad i bot it..2bottles at $29.90 one bottle at $18.90..so of course bot two. they r red n yellow colour!! *cheers* will use it tmr!! :)
was supposed to go Far East to get a Von Dutch bag fer auntie ong's sis but in e end by 5 both of us were damn tired alr so she decided to forget abt it. so we went hm aft we walked halfway to Far East alr..hmm..tts auntie ong..wat to do? hahs alws so fickled, noisy, picky n impatient..but no one's perfect..these r not exactly bad pts too..sumxs she's rli a clown..mkg me laugh n smile bcos of her stupid actions n thgs she says..w/o my dearest auntie ong..life'll be a bore!! thks dearie auntie!! loveyas!! n u still owe me a treat k? :)
met sharon darrie on 174 on my way to twn..hahs its was rli coincidental or shall i call it fate?felt lyk tkg 174 to twn tts y i waited fer it ta come thou 171 n 77 oso go twn but i refused to get up any of them n insisted on tkg 174. sha darr called me on e bus to say "hey im behind you!!" was rli glad to hear her sweet voice..brightened up my dae..miss u alot bestie!!*hugs* shall c u nxt wk!! lovee love u swts!!
hahs chatting w silly mandy now..hahs she's rli a nice n funny ger..great!!we'll be crazy tog while doing the Fatabulous project k ger?rli glad to hv known u..may our fwenship blossom in e daes ahead!!*hugs*see u ard..yup n u shall stick to me durg e project hahs..
*sigh*got econs class tmr.im alone agn..jst prayg hard tt jenny'll b a sweetie n acc me!! :) cant mk it fer todae's lect so gotta go tmr MORN!!!dread gg sch on sats!! :( *pissed*
**aveline dearie this song is dedicated to u..nv msg u todae n u didnt msg me..i hope no news means gd news.hope ur finding ur nxt route u wna tk.i'll b here to carry u outta this dark moments in ur current phase of life..fwens r forever n this goes fer both of us too. dearie be strong k..loveualws baby!!!**hope ta c u soon.imissu tonnes!!!
**Yeah I know it hurts,
Yeah I know you're scared walking down the road,
that leads to who knows where.
Don't you hang your head
don't you give up yet
when courage starts to disappear
I will be right here.
When your world breaks down
and the voices tell you turn around.
When your dreams give out
I will carry you, carry you.
When the stars go blind
and the darkness starts to flood your eyes.
When you're falling behind,
I will carry you.
Everyboday cries,
Everybody bleeds,
No one ever said that lifes an easy thing.
Thats the beauty of it,
when you lose your way,
close your eyes and go to sleep
and wake up to another day.
You should know now that you're not alone.
Take my heart and we will find,
you will find,
your way home.
When your dreams give out I will carry you,
carry you.
When the stars go blind and the darkness starts to flood your eyes.
When you're falling behind,
I will carry you, carry you.**
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;
Thursday, September 02, 2004
**think+god+smiled+at+me+**
its a happie dae i muz sae..went fer YEN interview n it went well.i got selected!!! *cheers* but i guess hahs evryone who went fer e interview got selected?? wateva lah..jst happiee i got in. i'm rli interested in pushcart business..so i rli wanted to b part of e project. Great!!now i can wk w pple i know n manage a business ourselves!!! sherry, mandy, calvin, sean all got in. but wndr if Aveline dearie got in too..but s i said evryone got in i think hahs shall go find out. well knew a few new fwens todae..mandy n jenny. toked to yiying too. had a grt time at YEN..guess if im enjoyg life in SIM its bcos of YEN..e pple r nice. real pple..not superficial..e interview was okie.wei kiong n sherli n jasmine were great..felt totally at ease. so i guess it was e real me they saw. :) thk god fer letting me able to give it a best shot n be totally at ease n allow me to sail thru..i got wat i rli wan..im totally looking forward to it man!!
went fer ibm consult aft interview..went w xuex..hahs tt silly ger damn noisy..one moment she claimed she's hungry den ltr she wld say she wna go toilet..den a min ltr.."finished my sweet alr.." n many many more..gosh!! i was lyk "kip quiet ger" hahs..ur damn troublesome!!" e consult was okie..den got a call frm sherli n got e gd news..saw e committee whn we were on our way hm...e pple r nice!!
well dad fetched me to sch todae..i think its cos he heard ive got interview todae n fetched me s a form of wishg me luck n giving me support? thks dad..cos u said u'll nv fetch me to sch cos its darn far..thks anyway. last wk fer us was tough but i hope we'll b fine agn. thks mom fer alws supportg me. iloveu e most!! my mommy's a sweetie!!*muuaaxxxx*
aveline dearie had a bad day..sigh tt darling's sucha poor babe..my heart goes out ta her. love hurts..i agree. baby..im rli worried..u nv reply my msgs..but i think u nid a time alone to cool dwn n think wer will u go frm here..no matter wat..sweetie angel..im alws here to hold u tight n weather evthg tt comes ur way..w you.dnt let a guy destroy u..ur sucha sweet pretty baby tt u will nv be in a world w/o gd guys lyking u..dnt give up a forest bcos of one tree? deres pple who cares n loves you..fwens lyk me.dry up ur tears n stand up strong..loveubaby!!
hvg ibm tmr n Nageb's rli funny hahs...gg meet auntie aft tt.she's a very very picky person..gosh!!hahs rli can drive me crazzzyyyyy...but tts wat mkg us gd fwens i guess..she mks e decision while i tolerate..hahs..ive got a big heart n volume to tolerate her hahs ah haos will jst flare i think.. :) so auntie beta appreciate me!!
right damn tired ..gg ta my cozy lil bed..nite angels!! *muackss*
to *u*: missing u as usual..wer r u..wat r u doing?? luvya++
++Did you ever love someone,
but they didn't love you back?
Did you ever feel like crying
but what good would it do?
Did you ever see him smile
when other girls say hello?
Did you ever whisper "I love you,"
but never let him know?
Did you ever look him in the eyes
and say a little prayer?
Did you ever look into his heart
and wish that you were there?
Love is fine, but it hurts so much
and the price you pay is high.
To you, my friend,
don't fall in love-
You'll be hurt before it's through.
You see, my friend, I ought to know-
For I fell in love with you++
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;
*what a blardie dwn dae*
went ta wtch 13 gg on 30 at jurong pt w yings dearie.yup all e way ta jp ta meet my dearie..sat on e bus fer 2blardie hrs lah..cant feel my butt anymore!! evthg was fine..e movie was okie. but kinda draggy..had lunch at kfc w her..den we toked abt her hall life. eventually toked abt tt person. took 30 hm n went pass her pl. i miss those xs i'll jst pop by her pl ta chill. first 3mths whn three of us wld jst hang out dere to predict how many pts we'll get fer o's..laughed until we were rollg on e floor..suddenly evthg changed aft tt dreadful bus ride. aft tt bus ride i knew evthg was over..9yrs of fwenship's over. jst lyk tt..i was blardie hurt n heartbroken..but was she? till now nearly 2 n 1/2 yrs ltr im still hurtg..does she care??she's happily in her own world of love..we're strangers now. 9yrs of fwenship..poof!! totally gone..guess both sides gotta share e blame..but..our fwenship cldn't withstand wat happened..teared so badly on e bus.laughters frm me r no longer real..real lyk those xs me n u wld jst rock e rm w our horrible laughter..i miss u but i know we can nv eva b e same agn..e bond's gone..mayb foreva.will i c the real me agn??one w/o pain n heartaches.i wish u well.frm e bottom of my heart.rli..
den jaq msged me n she was dwn too.gosh! wats happening to pple ard me?? y r evryone getg upset either by relationships or fwenships?? y r pple ard me in sim upset abt sthg?? wats gg on in our lives?? alot of pple complained ta me abt not being able to find true fwens ard in sim..fwens we know r mostly superficial type..its hard to develop our fwenships ta another level cos we dnt associate aft lects. unlyk in sec or jc..real fwens were all ard. emptiness n lonliness sets in occasionally..feelgs tt we nv experienced b4 in sec or jc..cos we wld nv feel alone..evrywer dere wld b pple we know n can click w..but in this new environment..s jaq said..evryone's busy w their own lives establishg superficial fwenships in this superficial new environment. i thot abt it n teared even more..i hate ta c my fwens not living happily now..hate not being able ta c e real happy them..evryone's complaing..but i cant help..cos sumxs i feel this way too. i hate changes..hate new environments..god help my fwens..let them c rainbows aft this storm n protect them frm any other harm n pain.
wenny n hannie...if any of u will happen ta read this..im rli sad tt i feel tt we're driftg awae s a clique. whn was e last time we met? 2 mths ago..evry outgs so far its alws three of us..e both of u gers will alws b missing in action..fwenships nid both sides ta put in e effort ta maintain it..we're alws e ones askg u gers out..u both nv took e initiative to..i know both of u r busy but a lil time is sufficient ta kip in contact. u know 3 of us feel tt u gers prefer ur crystal tt clique more than us? we felt left out by u gers. wers our clique at all?? i shall be e "bad person" to voice our concerns out..not to complain but ta tell u gers how we're feelg n hope u gers mk some efforts of brging us baq into ur lives agn..u may prefer spendg time w ur e other clique but uve this clique dwn here too..its alws here..but u both werent here..i dnt wna lose another two of my darlings gd fwens..i rli dnt..i tried n tried by organising outgs but evry time u both cldnt mk it fer a reason or another..i feel rli sad evry time u both cldnt mk it..i rli dntwna lose another precious fwens whom i care alot fer n i believe yings n astee love alot..i wna c us as a clique happy tog agn. i know ur schedules r busy but we jst nid alil of ur time..show us u care..i rli miss u two "jies" rli i do..wish u gers r well.loveu alws..*hugs*
thks aveline dearie fer being here fer me. hahs its lyk a pattern thgy gg btw both of us..one dae ur dwn e nxt is my turn. *sigh* hope u'll nv be dwn eva agn...may u b happily n sweetly in love. i'll treasure u n love u n be here fer u till e dae my heart stops beatg.iloveu sweetie..
yings dearie n sharon darrie..ur both my darling bestest fwens..ur both so busy w ur own lives tt i know tt u both can nv rli be alws ard whn i nid u gers..but e thot of hvg e frenship n love of both of u is enuf to mk me smile..iloveu dearly n deep dwn my heart.*muax* i miss u gers so much!! ur alws on my mind.
jaq dearie..im alws here fer u.bossie will alws let uve my shoulders to cry on. loveu..
yunx babe..i wish i can turn baq time too but since we can only live once..mk full use of life..i'll b here to walk w u along this journey..*hugss*
thks jas..fer being dere fer me.im not angry w u dnt worrie..muaxx
glad tt brandon n nicky werent eliminated..they were damn lucky..brandon's sucha sweetie..think tts e only happiee thg tt happened todae tt made me smile fer a sec..
*didn't tink of u todae..no time to..theres so many thgs to think abt n analyse..but now whn i tink of u..i miss u..*
hvg yen interview tmr at 230 hope i can b selected to manage a pushcart business..im rli so interested in managing one w my fwens..wish me luck folks!! nite to e world..its sucha depressing dae..wats love? wats fwenships??
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I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
had a simple dae todae..soci lect in e noon n hung out in twn aft tt. lect todae was horrible!! e baq row was so noisy..n e lecturer was so bloody soft tt cld bearly hear wat she's sayg..den e ger beside xuex her hp kept vibrating n whn she replied she was typing soooooo blardie loudly tt i kept staring at her n mkg noises hahs but apparently it was in vain.den we kept lukg back at those who kept tokg n in e end think they got e hint n they stopped. but hahs whn we turned n c wat they were doing..guess wat?!!hahs they were in dreamland alr!! *tsktsk* jst dnt understand these pple..pay so much to come study in SIM come here to slp n tok n msg..i mean jst get out if u cant b bothered.dnt come n disturb others who's tryg hard to conc n get gd results? i mean "hello..we're tryg to listen here!!!" jst dnt understand e world. seriously i think soci's lyk outta my limits..its blardie difficult tt im totally lost!!! can anyone tell me wats gg on?!!! *help*
well aft lect met up w ah haos..tt ger jst call me durg lect to ask me to hang out w her in twn. hahs gotta admit im rli bad in roads n directions. ah haos asked me to stop at e stp opp Coronation plaza..i didnt know wer it was thou i go pass it almost evrydae!! how can i drive nxt time??hahs so im waitg fer sweeties to pass driving n come drive me hahs..tts e main reason y im not keen on tkg up driving..i wna be BOSS n be chauffered ard.. :) anw ah hao went to get her laptop cover n got a bargain buy at kino..den we went ta mos to chill. gotta say ah hao got a few gd lukg close guy fwens..hahs damn jealous!! :) aft tt met up w my sis n we went ta catch BOURNE SUPREMACY(izzit w or w/o u?) watever..it was gd.e action part was rli exciting..but i didnt rli get e whole story line.it was rather confusing..or was it cos i was not payg full attention?
was msging Aveline dearie cos she was feelg rli dwn..relationships rli can mk or break a person. why r guys alws so insensitive towards our feelgs?? its time sumone gives them a lesson n ask them to stop hurtg or play w our feelgs!! tried my best to mk her smile n hopefully i did. dearie we'll b each others' guardian angels n support each other thru e many daes ahead k? muz rem tt uve got a fwen in me n im alws here to hold u whn u fall..
**Everyone wants to be the sun that lights up your life. But I'd rather be your moon, so I can shine on you during your darkest hour when your sun isn't around. ** loveu dearie!! *hugs*
was on our way hm whn sis met her ex colleague..he's an ang moh!!! wats more?!! he's a rli rli GORGEOUS ang moh!! John Ryan..ahahs..damn charming..i was practically drooling lahhh..GOSH!! he kissed my sis whn sayg goodbye..i was damn JEALOUS!!! *groanss* he's drop dead gorgeous!!!! sigh..how can i get ta know ang mohs? anyone knows?? hahs my dream is to hv an ang moh hubby... :) den our kids will b mixed blood n gorgeous too! hahs..jst dnt wna chinese..so boring. hahs ah haos gg to luk dwn on me agn..but woah John Ryan is totally MY TYPE!!!!*drool drool* whn i saw him alight e bus he caught my eye lors his eyes were lyk shining thru e moonlite hahs den i wanted to tell my sis "hey look tt ang moh soooo cute!!" but b4 i knew it..he was smiling n walkg towards my direction..he's my sis fwen..glad i didnt tell my sis or i'll b darn embarrassed..im gonna dream abt him tonite. hahs
its maths tmr n im lukg forward to it cos aft tt i'll b meetg yings dearie..i miss her to bits!!we're gg ta catch 13 gg on 30..hope it will b gd. Gosh!! i wna watch soooo many movies... Cinderella Story, Anacondas, Collateral, Quill, Harold n Kumar, Garfield..urghs..wers e cash?? *growLss* sheesshhh..gg Jurong pt to meet my dearie bestie..tts lyk another part of e world but wat to do?? she's my bestie n gotta follow her wish lorss. see u my dear!!*muaxx*
++In my dreams,
we were never apart.
In my dreams you kept me close.
In my dreams you loved me the most.
In my dreams we're always together.
I might as well be dreaming forever..++
**i missed u todae.how r u?**
Happiee Tchers Day To All My Tchers Whom Made A Difference In My Life.iloveu!!!
thks miss auw fer guiding me thruout my pri n sec yrs..ur the best!! iloveu the most!!!!
nitey world...nite john ryan..hahs
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;
get one from 